Monday, August 27, 2007
Back From My Native Land
I'm back from Texas. It was a whirlwind trip. I enjoyed the visit with my brother, his family and with my sisters, and brother-in-law. We had a great laid back weekend--hanging out, visiting, cooking-out, and catching up on family news. It was great!
I appreciate so much the expressions of concern and the prayer pledges that so many blogging friends left in my comments last week. Thank you! I had a wonderful visit with my brother. He was upbeat and determined. His family is supportive of him and will take good care of him and his precious wife. I'm sure they would appreciate your continued prayers as they face this uncertain season of their lives.
In the course of the weekend I visited a model home that my nephew just finished, my sister's house--decorated in what we decided to call, "unique nostalgic eclectic" style, and some places where family memories were made. I'll share some of that part of my trip during the next few days.
Today I'll share the part of the trip that gave me a few new gray hairs--Dallas roadways! I got this in an email today from a Texas driver. It describes what I experienced perfectly! I was on Beltline (It does go forever with no end!), Preston Road, and more than one freeway. I was also lost in Denton for a little while (but that's one of those stories best left untold) and I think we were behind a Mercedes at lesast once. Keep reading--you'll understand what I mean!
First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS, depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.
Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old , then it is already obsolete.
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules..."Hold on and pray."
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.
All directions start with "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN''T!)
The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.
Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and is a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, we have added George Bush Turnpike and the "High 5" to the mix.
If someone actually has his or her turn signal on it is probably a factory defect.
Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators--and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas...
All elderly ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way, Period.
And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas...
Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW HIghway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, and Preston Road, all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections.
The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph.
A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.
It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.
Final Warning: Don't Mess with Texas Drivers...remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.
I appreciate so much the expressions of concern and the prayer pledges that so many blogging friends left in my comments last week. Thank you! I had a wonderful visit with my brother. He was upbeat and determined. His family is supportive of him and will take good care of him and his precious wife. I'm sure they would appreciate your continued prayers as they face this uncertain season of their lives.
In the course of the weekend I visited a model home that my nephew just finished, my sister's house--decorated in what we decided to call, "unique nostalgic eclectic" style, and some places where family memories were made. I'll share some of that part of my trip during the next few days.
Today I'll share the part of the trip that gave me a few new gray hairs--Dallas roadways! I got this in an email today from a Texas driver. It describes what I experienced perfectly! I was on Beltline (It does go forever with no end!), Preston Road, and more than one freeway. I was also lost in Denton for a little while (but that's one of those stories best left untold) and I think we were behind a Mercedes at lesast once. Keep reading--you'll understand what I mean!
Driving in Dallas
First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS, depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.
Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old , then it is already obsolete.
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules..."Hold on and pray."
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.
All directions start with "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN''T!)
The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.
Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and is a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, we have added George Bush Turnpike and the "High 5" to the mix.
If someone actually has his or her turn signal on it is probably a factory defect.
Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators--and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas...
All elderly ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way, Period.
And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas...
Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW HIghway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, and Preston Road, all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections.
The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph.
A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.
It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.
Final Warning: Don't Mess with Texas Drivers...remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.
Dallas High 5
Labels: Family
12 Comments:
Welcome home! I don't think I'd want to drive there.
Welcome home, Myrna! I didn't realize you were going to be so close to my house! Next time you'll have to stop for a visit. :0)
Hugs,
Kelli
Glad your home and had a good time. Thanks for posting about Dallas traffic. Been there many times and don't like it!!!(the driving that is)
Susan
Oh, my. I learned to drive in Chicago but that was before red light running was a cultural celebration. Sounds very scary. But the post gave me many giggles.
So glad you are home safely and had a wonderful trip .
Glad to have you back home safely.
Yikes...I don't know if I would be able to drive in Dallas.
Myrna - Thanks for your sweet comment on my blog. You are definitely tied very securely to one of my balloons!!
Susan
Too funny! :D I get nervous driving in any big city...I avoid Portland whenever I can! Really not so sure I want to tackle Dallas!
So glad your brother has a positive attitude- I know that will make a huge difference in his recovery.
Blessings,
~Tammy
Myrna,
I'd better stay in Georgia.....we talk slow, hear slow and drive slow....most of the time....Betty
First I am so glad your brother is doing better and we will continue to pray for God's healing power for him, and peace to replace the fear for him and his family. For my second comment, what you posted about the driving in Dallas is sooo funny, I was visiting in Phoenix and I understand exactly what you mean. I almost pee my pants and I was just a passenger. Have a blessed day
Sheila
The whole Dallas driving thing just cracked me up. Our married kids live there and you hit the nail on the head. I just close my eyes when we drive around the city. My daughter whips around that city blowing her horn like nobodys business. What a hoot! We are always glad to be back in our small town here in Michigan.
I live here and what you described is a way of life.... and try teaching a teen to drive in this nightmare and see how many heart attacks you can survive! I managed to succeed at drivers ed with him, but now I panic when he has to somewhere in all this traffic by himself.
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